Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
