No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize