You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Boobs are out for the taking
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
