Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
