He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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