sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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