I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
