i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
