I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
