The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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