My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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