nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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