Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
