Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
