Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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