meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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