HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
