then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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