So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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