I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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