spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
