Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
