So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
