dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
