Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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