In the future we'll all be gay
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
