Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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