One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
