very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Your cock deserves a montage
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
