she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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