DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
These tits shall not be calmed
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
