omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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