I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
