I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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