Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
