Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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