haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
