i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
