I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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