im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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