I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
