You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
