So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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