Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
