Me. At least after what I've been through.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
