Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
