She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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