we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
