Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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