It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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