I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
