Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
