i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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