We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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