You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
