we have officially lost it.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
