Redeem this text for a blowjob
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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