I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
