note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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