butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
this just has baby written all over it
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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