I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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