Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
