he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
