What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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