we're chasing vodka with high fives
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
